Dunno

Come un mortuary

In Italy it is’nt like that but:

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Nightmares

Incubbi

Closing blinds
Shutting shutters
The dog is barking
I’m muttering
Tirare giù  le taparelle
Turning OFF and ON the lights

Goodnight

Sadness
Gladness
Sorrow
Joy

Went to sleep in black velvet sheets
Purple bedcover
Pillows black
Velvet
Woke up
What the FUCK
2:57 GOT UP
Next evening the white bedroom

Back to my sisters,
Had a nightmare
Fell out of bed
Split my lip
Bleed from my tooth
Washed away
Frighented
Back to bed

To be continued …………….

Freedom
But dunno what to dooo….NO/YES….On the road again …….

Back to Willie

 

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All the lonely people

wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door 
Who is it for? 

 darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there 
What does he care? 

Ah, look at all the lonely people 
Ah, look at all the lonely people 

Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been, 
Lives in a dream 
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door 
Who is it for? 

All the lonely people 
Where do they all come from? 
All the lonely people 
Where do they all belong? 

Father Mckenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear 
No one comes near. 
Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there 
What does he care? 

All the lonely people 
Where do they all come from? 
All the lonely people 
Where do they all belong? 

Ah, look at all the lonely people 
Ah, look at all the lonely people 

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name 
Nobody came 
Father Mckenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave 
No one was saved 

All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people) 
Where do they all come from? 
All the lonely people (ah, look at all the lonely people) 
Where do they all belong?

Words

DOLORE (Imortal – Mortal)

A Day of life

Worse… Worser…. Worsed

Sun Shining

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Suffering for too long (egoismo selfiness bastard dentro bastard fuori)

A story already told (Just retelling)
Dunno (like always)

Q: Went to a tobacco shop,a few days ago
Today is Tuesday ?

A: No Giovedi (Thursday last week)

Hospice Thursday morning, nurse come ecc… Tamara gentle nurse with lady doctor
Could be days, hours, ecc minutes

Call Teo,at work, Sestri Levante, coming half an hour (drives fast)

Minutes………………….

Kissed,hugged

Went to peee………….., smoke ………….. ?

Valeria. ? Call the Doctor.
Maybe  expired ?

Expired
Wife DEAD 

Marilena
Caterina
Sei Scemo ? Regrets ………………………. Tanti

Today(Yesterday) was the day, bad sleep, 2:0 4:0 6:0 seven got up

Coffee,a beer 7° , shower … not in order
Coffee for Valeria 8 o’clock or sometime like t hat
Lousy, waiting,get dressed
Valeria, nagging (for my own good) drink a glass of water ecc…………………………)
Voltaren,Muscoril pains hip  bone getting old………………….
Toilet 7 times  shit……………………………..
Teo came with girlfriend
Rain rain rain and cold ………………….

Whisky (Valeria got it all fucked, la chichetta ……… Jack Daniels, Where is the Irish ?)260px-Chiesa_San_Bernardino_Genova_-_Esterno[1]

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San Bernardino 10.00

Arrived late, bells ringing, raining,wind cold
Monks not Priests. Cappucini. Little church just above the house of ours
Sermon:

La chiesa di Nostra Signora di Lourdes e San Bernardo – conosciuta però anche con il nome di chiesa di San Bernardino – è un edificio di culto di Genova. È situata in salita superiore San Rocchino e fa parte del vicariato diCastelletto. L’edificio è sede della casa madre dei frati

cappuccini della Provincia Ligure.

No sermon, only sweet words by the monk (and I’m a prod)

Drugs ?
Incence
Sweet

Coffin In: Out

Only close cloee close friends , wanted very private
Giusi,Luisa,Andrea, Nicola, Leo,Anna,Anna,Mimma,Aldo, Patricia,Elisabetta,Mario, myself Valeria, Teo, Titti + parents Titti ? others ………..

Staglieno

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Shaking, Teo driving, Rain,Rain ………………….
Guy with an umbrella  walk,walk  …………… Vast vast
We arrived at campo 60, bed ???????????????????????

Bulldozers JCB’s.

Dust to dust, Teo behind the tree.

Vai Papa vai ………………
Earth scattered on the coffin ………………….
Looked looked looked …………….. Eternal

Tabxxxx Caterina
19/12/19xx
17/04/2014

Crying, shaking,pity, LOSS loss loss……………………………

Legs shaking
I’ve got to get out of here
Got out (with help and support / friends)
Good to have friend not enemies……….Thanks friend
Sit in the car, smoke
Teo goes  to a marmista for a temporary gravestone marking
Back soon

Bye Bye my LOVE

Back home…………….
Teo cooked very responsabile,
Eat drink and be merry

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Happy
Onward trhu the fog (lots of it……..hope it will clear up)

Thanks to all shoulders ecc……………………

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10:06 A beautiful day – Sun Shining

Refound Love (Everlasting)

And I’m crying or  (I’m tired Joey boy)

I’m tired Joey Boy
While you’re out with the sheep
My life is so troubled
Now I can’t go to sleep
I would walk myself out
But the streets are so dark
I shall wait till the morning
And walk in the park

Release
Relief
Sadness
Tears
Regrets
Hurts

the list is loooooooooooooooooong

And I’m crying

This morning at about eight o’clock looking out from the kitchen door about 25° in the sun.

A clear clear day, not a cloud was in the sky, Beautiful day
The  night, the day………..
Went to bed early for me in this period about 1:30 in the morning
Slept good until  6:30

Woke up ,wee……….d, smoked a cigarette, back to bed, and sleep

I’ve got two ears, right one completely deaf,left one good.

Sleeping with my good ear on the listen. (My tune on the phone music by  Lyst)

7:56 ,  phone rings. I’m sleepy……..
Hello, I’m the chief nurse of the hospice “The situation is deteorating rapidly, do you want to come or inform your son
Got up, dazed, caffe, cigarette, went down to the cellar, pack of beer Moretti Red 7° , drunk one
Some caffe, with sugar and milk, walked around, fed the dog, cleaned up the dogs shit in the garden.

The  dog is happy (at least some one is happy).

My wife’s sister still sleeping, went to bed at 9 o’clock yesterday evening, tired, resting………….
Got her up, coffee for her, shower for her …TAXI
Taxi came, woman driver… Maarigliano San Martiino Grazie
Nice woman, pleasant conversation, what day is today ?

Tuesday, No today is Thursday……

Conversation, laughts, talked about everything her sons, our son, viaggi ecc…………….

Tamara; A nice nurse (and competent compotenza,+understanding), more than nice she is capable (I don’t know how the personnel from the cleaning lady up to the head doctor cope, every one leaves in una barella.

Every patient goes out in a streacher, no healing, (Got to dull the pain)
Kissed my wife, maybe some look of  joy in her eyes. poco (I dunn……….), maybe she knew me again ?
Love ritrovato (refound -Back to the roots)
Talked to doctors, nurses
Phoned our son, (Arrivo subito 30 miles away)

9:30 Maybe Hours,Days, dunno

At the bedsude Valeria watching said “Maybe it’s over

It’s over,one more kiss, bliss

Can’t stand it , calm

Take the body to the morgue

Our son (Sunshine came…….Tears,Regrets,Maybe should have called him sooner

Crying……………………………………

As Bugs Bunny said “That’s all for now folks”

Home:

Pizza for all, I asked for Irish Whisky, Valeria brought Jack Daniels……..Dazed
Saleswoman from the funeral services Federica
Nice woman 2 kids
Bury in the ground 10 years, and then we’ll see……………

Morgue:
Lost lost, saw my wife  Room N° 12
Rang a door bell
Opened by a man who seemed like a butcher Frankenstein (Junior/Senior/Butcher) dressed in blue
Two men came, dressed my wife (she”s cold)

Tomorow Yellow Rose earings (Clip ons, don’t want no blood – Them)

Put on the dishwasher after 2 months, washed by hand in the last few weeks

Bonarda, lovely Italian frizzzy wine, drink it like sasparilla or lemonade,wake up with a sore head

To be continued ……………………………………..

Not forgetting

Wonderful Eyes